After having Miss E, I made the choice to stay home, for a little while. This experience was going to be something new for me after graduating college, finally landing a great job with a Fortune 500 company, and to now taking care of a baby. I knew that this wasn’t going to be easy for me because I was leaving my job, making enough to buy whatever I wanted, and to pretty much travel wherever I want. As you can see, not having my own money was a big issue for me. I was a person that was so used to working for whatever I wanted and making it happen for myself. This is because I had been working from a younger age, but now it’s time for me to be selfless. Making the choice to stay at home wasn’t for me, but it was the best for my little one (LO). I couldn’t imagine dropping my LO off to daycare at three months, especially being in a city where I didn’t know many people. So, I made the choice to stay home while hoping and wishing for the best.
After making the decision to stay home and suffering from postpartum depression, I was wondering if I made the right choice. Now I was responsible for taking care of this little baby on my own during the day, and trying to take care of the household “things.” “OMG how in the heck can I do it all,” I thought to myself the first day after my husband returned to work. I didn’t think that I was going to make it, but I did by taking it one day at a time. But let us be honest, being a stay at home mom isn’t as fun as I thought it would be. Oh man, it’s not all about watching reality shows, changing a few diapers, and getting Starbucks. This is real work. #reallifenorealtiyshow
Trying to take care of a baby and get household stuff done, didn’t happen in the beginning. I didn’t clean a thing, mainly because I had a c – section and I was still recovering. But also, because that was the furthest thing from my mind.
Okay, let’s go back to the money topic. So now I’m staying home, which meant after my maternity leave was finished I would not be getting paid any more. Not being a contributing factor of my family felt like I was losing my voice. It felt like I couldn’t make any decision because I wasn’t making any money. My husband didn’t make me feel that way, it was something that was ingrained in my mind from a young age, ” If you don’t work, you don’t eat;” and that’s how I felt. I didn’t even want to ask for anything if it wasn’t for my baby girl. I felt like I made the choice to stay home, so I shouldn’t spend any money. But the truth was, GOD was providing for my family, and we had enough money to continue our lives. That was something I was going to have to overcome along with postpartum depression. I know that having postpartum depression magnified a lot of things.
Pumping felt like a job. I was hooked up for approx 8 hours a day. It was very demanding, but I was willing to do anything to feed my little momma. I did what I had to do. I found that making a schedule and trying to stick to it helped out a lot.
Trying to find to time to workout was difficult at first. Now, I try to workout when she is asleep early in the morning. Sometimes I have to cut it short, but I try get it in as much as possible. I know that I can make time to sit down and look at social media during the day, and that is at least 30 min per day. That tells me that I have enough time to workout, if I really wanted to.
People think it’s all peaches and cream when you are a stay at home mom, LIES!!! It is the farthest from the truth. Although, there are some women that prefer to be a stay at home wife and mom, that is just not my thing. No disrespect.
I know that I made the right choice for my family. I know that because I prayed about being a stay at home mom before Miss E was born and GOD gave me the green light. Unfortunately, there were still areas in my life that I had to deal with. I continue to pray to ask God to give me the wisdom, patience, and strength to deal with this new season.
Another important thing is maintaining your relationship with the one you call GOD, he is my father. I know that when my relationship with him is off, my life seems out of order. What happens spiritually will manifest in the natural. I know that it may be hard to have the intimate time with God with a newborn but continue to pray and talk to God where ever you are. Once you get the hang of the mothering role, your life will start to line up, and order will manifest.
Stay strong Queen, you will get through it. I am telling you this because I am doing it with you. I know that WE can do it. We have no choice but to succeed; our little ones are counting on us.
Although I said all of that I am so happy that I am not missing any important moment in her life. I get to teach her how to crawl, walk, sit, and plenty of other things. I love this little girl to pieces, and there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for her. So if I have to stay at home, that is what I ill do.
Comment below if you would like prayer in this area, and I will pray for you. We can pray for each other.